Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
