My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
