I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
