So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize