I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
