I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize