i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
