Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
