Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize