when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
and she was petting her beer can
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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