was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
