My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
