ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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