i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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