Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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