I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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