Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
why do cheetos always look like penises
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Bring me that man meat
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
