Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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