Duck Duck Cougar?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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