while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
