im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I didn't notice because vodka
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
