is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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