So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
