I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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