If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just forgot I was standing up.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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