im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
