you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
