Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
