We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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