I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
