dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
