google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
