That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
