just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
you made out with another girl for some wings
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Couch. On fire.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
