i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
