We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
organizing the empties. That sober.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
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Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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