You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I want her autograph on my taint
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
