is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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