There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize