We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
