A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
