so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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