As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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