he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
