remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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