Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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