Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
