therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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