they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
