Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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