We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
