also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
