Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
