so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
