Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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