dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
