So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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