found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
