ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The air was thick with penises
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
