i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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