Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize