Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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