I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
