some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
