He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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