we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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