she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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