Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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